Queer Plans for ‘Fairytale of New York’?

The original artwork for 'Fairytale of New York' single

Singer Shane MacGowan is reportedly planning on revising his classic song, ‘Fairytale of New York’ and updating it in time for this holiday season. However, this updated remix is something altogether unexpected and quite queer…

MacGowan, a legendary hell-raiser who celebrates his birthday on Christmas Day, has been very quiet of late. Nonetheless, recent political developments have inspired MacGowan to go back to the studio and begin retouching a holiday favourite in time for the festive season. The famed singer is a long-time supporter of gay marriage in Ireland, and is said to be fascinated by the recent legalisation of same-sex weddings in New York. In celebration, he has begun revising his famous Christmas tune, now titled ‘Faeries of New York’.

The original ‘Fairytale of New York’ was released by The Pogues in 1987, and featured a lively performance by British singer Kirsty MacColl. It has since become regarded as one of the best Christmas songs of all time. The song takes the form of a drunken Irish immigrant’s Christmas Eve reverie about holidays past while he sleeps off a binge in a New York City drunk tank. The drunken man (MacGowan, naturally) begins to dream about the song’s female character. The remainder of the song takes the form of a call and response between the couple on Christmas Eve in New York City.

This was, by far, the most respectable image we could find for Shane MacGowan...

The Blarney Times, however, has recently obtained a crumpled-up napkin from outside Windmill Studios in Dublin. The writing reveals MacGowan’s odd new plans for the classic song: the song lyrics now appear to be about a young Irish man who finds himself in a cold YMCA room in NYC, and he begins yearning for his ‘Danny boy’ back home. Forced to separate and emigrate due to economic hardships, the young lovers chat on Skype about how the two of them should meet again and marry in New York…

The blogosphere is now abuzz with discussion on who might duet with MacGowan in place of the late Kirsty McColl. Potential replacements include gay icon Ronan Keating, David Norris and even sultry songstress Mary Coughlan. However, so far Robbie Williams and the iconic David Hasselhoff are the front-runners to sing alongside MacGowan and his musicians. One can only shudder at the thought of the music video… On a more positive note, all members of reformed Irish band ‘Six’ have reportedly signed on to do backing vocals. There may be scheduling conflicts, however, as at least two of the singers are said to have annual turkey-plucking contracts for this holiday season.

For now, let’s enjoy the original, classic version…